5 Types of Love Languages and How To Express Them With Your Children

a loving mother holding her baby girl

Within a family, it's typical to have several love languages, which can be difficult to manage. Learning your child's love language, on the other hand, can make a huge difference in your connection and their happiness.

Different kind of love and attention are desired by different children. Learning your children's love languages will have a major effect on your interaction and relationship with them. It will also make them feel loved, appreciated, heard, and understood unconditionally.

Love is expressed and experienced in a variety of ways by children. One of your girls may enjoy physical touch, while the other may require confirmation in the form of words. Each of these love phrases speaks a different "language."

According to Dr. Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman in their book “The Five Love Languages”, which was followed by The Five Love Languages of Children, some people express love through physical touch, while others express love through words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, or quality time.

Words of affirmations

When it comes to expressing love, words have a lot of power. "I care about you," offer words of affection and adoration, words of positive reinforcements, and words that provide positive advice.

These statements instill in a child a sense of self-worth and security. Even though such comments are spoken hastily, they are not readily forgotten, and a child benefits from affirming words for the rest of his or her life.

Through words of encouragement, a youngster who informs you what they like and frequently seeks compliments feels cherished.

Avoid harsh criticizing remarks, since they might have a negative impact on a youngster whose main love language is a word of affirmation

Here’s what you can do:

  • Use words and phrases that are motivating on a regular basis.
  • Say "I love you" a lot during the day
  • Say "I enjoy watching you play/draw/sing/help, etc."
  • Congratulate them on their efforts and accomplishments.
  • Create an affectionate name for your child that you will only use between you and your child.
  • When your child makes a mistake, acknowledge their excellent intentions, effort, and determination.
  • Make small love notes to leave about the house or in their lunchbox

Acts of service

When your child wants you to mend a toy or wants to fix something of yours, it's not always about getting the job done, but rather about obtaining additional love and attention.

You don't have to comply with every request if acts of service are your child's major love language.

However, it's critical to be sensitive to these requests and recognize how your reaction will either fill or empty your child's love bucket. Each request necessitates a considerate and caring response.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Rather than merely asking them to go to bed, carry them to bed and tuck them in.
  • Make a nice treat for them or prepare their favorite meal.
  • Make a drink and present it to them
  • Help them finish what they're doing rather than scolding your child to hurry when you're late for an appointment, 
  • Make a list of your child's favorite activities to do with you
  • Tidy the playroom and fix their bed 
  • Comb their hair
  • Clean or organize their closet or drawers.
  • Check out books from the library that you know they'll enjoy.
  • Sit down to complete their assignments as a group
  • Surprise your child with a room makeover

Receiving gifts

Giving and receiving presents can be a powerful show of affection that can be significant even later in life for certain people. Even the most considerate gifts have the potential to become true love symbols.

A child who frequently offers you a tiny gift, such as a wrapped toy or wildflowers from the garden, is likely to feel loved through presents. Any of the love languages can be combined with these gifts.

There is, however, a distinction to be made between a child who views gifts as an expression of your love and a child who pleads and throws a tantrum for a toy every time you go shopping. A child whose love language is getting gifts will be delighted with even the tiniest token or something produced by hand

Some suggestions for physical expressions of love:

  • Small, affordable gestures, thoughtful gifts, or homemade gifts are all good options.
  • Gifts that are relevant to your child's interests
  • A collection of one-of-a-kind gift packaging & wrapping paper
  • A song that makes you think of them
  • A photo album or book dedicated to them, as well as some memorable memories you've shared with them
  • A new shirt that reflects their individuality
  • Flowers picked by hand or anything else from nature that your youngster might like

Quality time

Spending quality time with your child entails focusing your attention on them. It's the gift of being present and telling a youngster that he or she is valuable and that you like spending time with him or her. Because the parent or caregiver chooses to spend time alone with the child, the child feels appreciated.

When spending time with your child or children, adjusting to their physical and/or emotional development will best suit their requirement. The amount of time you spend with your child is more essential than what you do with them. 

When a child asks for one-on-one time with a parent, whether through play, outside activities, or simply speaking, they are expressing a need to be loved. It's critical to follow up and pay attention to their requirement.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Set aside time to just be with your child and listen to their tales and feelings.
  • Be your child's journal buddy.
  • When you're out running errands, bring your child with you.
  • Do star-gazing 
  • Collaborate on a drawing or a journal
  • Allow them to assist you in the house.
  • Play games and conduct enjoyable activities together

Physical touch

Physical touch expresses love to children who have this as their major love language more deeply than praise, buying a present, or fixing a toy.

Their love tanks will remain empty without hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and other physical demonstrations of love.

Some ways to express love via physical touch:

  • Giving loads of loves and embraces
  • Doing a high-five, patting on the back, and holding their hands
  • Cuddling on the couch


happy children

The goal of knowing your child's love language is to improve your relationship with him or her. This can help them create self-worth, which is important for lifetime self-love and confidence. It also works for people of all ages and stages of development.

Understanding your own love language and realizing how it differs from your child's and partner's is a great tool for creating beautiful, strong family relationships and bonds built on pure compassion and understanding that would last a lifetime.

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